Are we in a gay sports bar?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
