If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
