Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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