They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
