some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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