he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
