Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
