Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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