I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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