i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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