its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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