We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
