He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
