Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
