I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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