you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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