i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
