I cockslap morals
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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