yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
