Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I look better un-naked...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize