I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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