I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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