Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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