Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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