His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
