The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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