oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
