my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If I die, sorry about rent.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
