She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
