The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
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while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
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Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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