I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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