Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
