You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
