tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
