Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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