You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
