This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
