i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
