they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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