I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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