I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
