for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
