I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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