U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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