I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
