ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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