Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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