So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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