Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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