just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
this just has baby written all over it
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
