But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
