you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
