We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
