Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
