Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
