I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
