I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
