OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
