btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize