FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
