the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize