About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i think i just lost a toe
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
