just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
