i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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