Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
