ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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